God has great plans for you and it will require rest to accomplish it!

   My presence will go with you and

 I will give you rest.       ~Exodus 33:14~



Need Rest?



 

I sit here this morning with many thoughts. I realize that I do not do well with change and there are so many changes coming that I feel overwhelmed, fearful, and nervous.  Valor will be going to Kindergarten.  Baby Oath is coming. Other unspoken concerns tug at my heart strings as well.  Yet I am reminded in scripture over and over again to fear not, do not worry, and be anxious for nothing. Also Jesus reminds us the Bible to rest and find rest in Him. I have not quite figured out how to do this well with little ones, exhaustion, and little motivation to even do so.  I sit here today with little desire to read my Bible, worship, or even leave my house for that matter. The energy it takes to get myself ready and the boys ready just isn't worth the effort of going anywhere, unless we are going to my moms house; a place we can arrive in our pjs and barefoot. :-)
     Sometimes in life you just get burnt out. It can happen in a marriage, being a mother, a teacher, a worker, in ministry, a leader, a servant or a friend. It can happen while doing good things.  It can happen to anyone at anytime. There is no shame in it. It will probably happen to every human at least once in their life.  I believe it happens when we do too much, keep our plates too full, perhaps feel unappreciated,  and don't set up boundaries to say "no"  or to take adequate rest and "self time".  I believe that REST  is the key.
     Sundays are suppose to be a day of rest but with little ones, and church, and still needing to cook meals it doesn't feel much like a day of rest.  I will say it again, I have not quite figured out how to rest in a way that restores my soul.  I believe Jesus wants us to have this kind of rest.  He does not want us striving, but thriving.  God wants our story to sound like David's when he said in Psalms " I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God. I will always trust in Gods unfailing love."   Often by the time I get my little family to church, I feel like just laying down on the back pew and sleeping! In the back of my mind, I'm secretly counting down the hours and minutes until nap time.  God knows my heart. He knows deep down, under it all....all I really want is HIM and that I love Him.
 

Isaiah 40... "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths          grow  tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar like eagles; run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint"

                                 `~ Rest in God starts with hope in God~

 
     So...Im going on a journey to find rest. Not more naps, not more sleeping time (however some might need that); rather, the kind of rest that restores the joy of my salvation. Im also going to be focusing on my physical health in this process. They are both related to each other.
    Some say that vacation renews them but that's not the case with me. I love vacations but there isn't much rest for my soul there. Others find it during time away,  but I have yet to discover it there as well.  However, alone time daily does great wonders for me. But only in Him am I truly at rest.
     I will find rest. He promises me that I will. If  I search for him; I will find Him. If I knock on His door, He will open it. He says for me to come to Him and He will give me rest. He will restore the joy of my salvation. He will take the concerns of my heart and make them perfect, one by one. He will take my burdens and lift them and give me His yoke which is easy and light. He will lay me down in green pastures and quiet waters.  He will carry me like a shepherd carries his sheep.   
     He is not mad at me for being tired. I refuse to feel shameful for not having the "want to" to want to read my bible and pray. He loves me. He really  loves me. If I'm on fire for him, or come to Him with a cold heart wanting Him to ignite it. - He loves me. Its like I tell my boys, " I don't always like your behavior, but I love you when you are good, and when you are bad. I love you when you are happy; when you are sad. I always love YOU" 
    So if you tired, burnt out, worried, concerned, or overwhelmed, come on this journey  with me to find rest from Him and in Him.  He will not withhold it from us. Take time to take care of yourself and not everyone else. This is ok and healthy!   So many people who get burnt out are givers. We give so much  and never get refilled, or recharged ourselves.  Giving is wonderful thing but we have to remember to give to ourselves. Cut back on the busy schedule, relax, take time for physical health, private alone time, spend time with Jesus with worship and His word, do something YOU enjoy. 

" Burn out happens when our lives are out of balance.  We can NOT do it all. The good news is that He never asked us to.  Only He can do it all!"

   

    So the first two steps in my journey of finding true rest for my soul are the following:  Incorporate worship and bible reading daily back into my life and include "self time".  I pray for each of my readers today that in this chaotic, busy, exhausting world...we will find the kind of rest that Jesus longs to give us. It will restore our souls and bring us great joy. It will allow us to give, without getting tired. To dream without giving up. To believe without doubting and to love without feeling strife. 
     Praise to the One, who gives freely and abundantly to all who ask.  Today I ask Jesus for His rest. I admit that without it, I cant even be a good mom, wife, friend or servant of Christ.  Rest in God starts with hope in God. So today, along with rest, I ask Him for hope.  Be blessed and well rested my friends. God has great plans for your life and it will require rest to accomplish it all! 

 

Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.   Matt 11:28

                                                                                                 

God is good. God is faithful. God is worthy. God is holy. ( Encouragement for the weary soul )

 I could hardly sleep last night thinking of Gods goodness.  As some of you know, TJ and I have lost 3 babies in the past 2 years. Their nicknames are  Jewel, Liv and Bliss.  I named them all girl names thinking surely one would be a girl!  :-)  I have half my children here on earth and half in heaven. Its like Im expecting always, cause I have 3 little surprises in heaven.  I bet Jesus will meet me at the gates with a rocking chair and my babies. I will get to rock babies forever and I am beyond excited about that!
  This journey has not been easy but God has been faithful.  My hormones have been to hell and back, my mind has suffered, my emotions have hit rock bottom, and my body has felt like it has been hit by a freight train.  After our last loss, I got very low.  My faith was shaken, my hormones were out of whack and I just didnt understand why all this was happening. I had been reading my Bible, I had been quoting scriptures and standing on Gods promises and yet I kept loosing my babies.
   I shut down for a while and actually still coming out of it. I tried to focus on my what I did have! I have been blessed with two cute, sweet, healthy boys and a wonderful husband. This brought me comfort and joy.
   One day, I went to my keyboard to sing to God. I had not done that in a long time and really needed to feel a release in my heart from all this baggage and hurt.  I sat down, as I have done many times before, but this time as I played, no song came.  Only tears.  Then I chose to force myself to sing about the things I already knew to be true of God.  These things were true no matter my circumstance or situation. I began to sing "God you are good. God you are worthy. God you are holy. God you are faithful. Then something came out of my heart, which exposed it. I began to sing, with tears, "I don't want to be mad at you God. I love you."
   I would have never said out loud that I was mad at God. I would never want to be mad at him. If He never did anything else for me but send Jesus to die on the cross...that is more than enough! He does not owe me anything. His ways are higher than mine. The truth is the only thing I deserve is hell, and He saved me from it.  However, in knowing all of this, my heart still was disappointed with God. It came out in my song.  I could not deny it.
   I had to make a choice to trust God even when I do not understand. I made a choice to love God even when it seems prayers go unanswered.  How could I not love God? He has been nothing but good and faithful to me.  Sometimes. we have to remind ourselves of what God has already done to be able to praise Him in our current situation.  I began to feel a healing take place in my heart.
   Since I lost several babies, the doctor ran some tests.   I  discovered I have blood clotting disorder and without my miscarriages I would have never known this!   Its treatable and very important information to know about myself to keep myself healthy.  I am thankful to have this knowledge.
   Sometimes you do not see or feels Gods faithfulness right in the middle of what you are going through, but if you look back on it, you can see Him all over it. You see Him with you, for you and helping you.  This is the case with me.  When I look back over my life, I see Him with me in every tear, every fear, every loss, every victory, every decision, every step, every laugh, every struggle, uncertainty, and emotion in my life.  He is with me, always. He is my ever present help in time of trouble. My comforter, my teacher, my friend who sticks closer than a brother, my shield, my rock and my sanity.  He is my guidance and my wisdom.
     I end this to say, God is truly good. He is worthy. He is holy. He is faithful. There is a purpose for everything under heaven. Nothing happens for without  reason, in vein or without a purpose. God can turn ALL things around for our good!
   Tj and I made a decision last year to try one last time. I almost didn't; but felt like I needed to try one last time.  So much had been stolen from me; I didn't want to give up.   We became pregnant a few months after this decision and here we are!! 15 weeks and with a baby girl on the way! I better start investing in some pink swords so she can hold her own against her brothers!
    The last 2 years, on 4th of July I have been right smack dab in the middle of loosing a baby.  My baby girl is due on July 4th of this year.  I feel this is Gods way of telling me he redeems the time. He makes all things new. He restores and rebuilds.  His timing is perfect.
   I am would never want to relive this journey but I am thankful for it.   I am thankful for the lonely nights of fall, for there I felt His friendship; the greatest of all. I am so thankful for the coldest days of winter for there I felt His warmth; I never knew it was there.  I am thankful for the storms in the springtime for there I heard His voice singing over me. I am so thankful for the weary days of summer, for there he refreshed me with the beauty of his love.  Seasons change, but He remains the same. His love never changes. He brought my soul out of prison and now I want to praise Him forever.

My Tribute "Family": Disney World, Home, & "Magic"

    Disney was wonderful; so thankful we got to go. We had so much fun! We did have a "magcial time"; but really, the magic for us happened mostly oustide the parks!!!!! It was spending time with each other in the hotel having pillow fights. It was having joining rooms with my mom & dad- n-law. It was the bus ride to the parks and I let the boys stand up while riding, it was the free refills of orange coke for the boys, it was playing the Ipad late in the night cuddled up in bed, it was snuggling with my boys and sleeping with them, it was spying on Noble when he would quietly sneak out of bed each morning to get the Ipad and a snack, it was spending quality time with my in laws and family, it was the road trip with Noble pottying every 10 min and Tj about going crazy, it was playing miniature golf with the boys and thier grandparents, it was all the things in the park, all the things out of the park,  and all things that happened inbetween that made our trip so "magical".   

     What I learned most of all from this amazing trip is that kids just want to spend time with thier family and magic can happen every day, any day, anytime.  "Magic" happens everytime we eat at the dinner table together as a family and take the time to really communicate and look each other in the eye with joy.   It happens in the backyard, when my boys sword fight and jump in mud puddles. Magic explodes when my nieces come over and my boys can play with thier cousins. It happens everytime family gathers together, everytime I kiss a boo boo, cuddle my boys or hear Noble yell "mamma" every morning when he wakes up. It happens everytime Valor looks at me ands says "I love you" and "Im so glad God made you mommy."  It happens everytime Tj helps me around the house and snatches me for a 6 second kiss. Its all around me when I talk to my sister and kiss the sweet warm cheeks of my children.  It suprises us every day,  in some way,  when I love God and put Him first.

     When leaving Disney World, Tj asked Valor, "What was your favorite part about Disney, son?"  Valor, replied quickly, "You dad".  This just confirmed what I had felt all week.  That,  there is indeed  "magic" all around us and we dont have to leave town to find it! (Unless we are traveling to see Gigi and Pawpaw) :-)   For my family and I, Disney World was so much fun and I have tons of pictures and memories to prove it!  However, I have to admit that Magic Kingdom isnt the only "magical" place on earth. Theres an, even more special, place where "magic" and memories are being made. Its a little place I call "Home".   

    So today, I thank God for vacation, a family to go on vacation with, good times, Disney World, and  tons of pictures. I also thank God for a home to shape my little, ever growing, 2 little desciples in.  Im so thankful to be in The Land of Princes'.  It can be overwhelming at times, it can be frustrating, hard and exhausting. But there is great reward and joy in the home that delights in the Lord and delights in each other.   Home Sweet Home!

Praise Him in ALL things at ALL times

Warrior Valor - brave and couragious

Laying in bed with my sick boy,, Valor,  ( healed of The Lord) and ready for our nap. When the song "break every chain" came on, he slowly slides out of bed and starts dancing and praises the Lord the best he could. After bout 30 seconds, he tiredly gets back in bed. This is one of Those times that I'm reminded of how much we can learn from children. Im honored to learn from my son, even though he's unaware he is teaching me. Gods praise will continually be upon my lips and I will praise Him at ALL times in ALL things. He is faithful and true.

I thank God for my sons, Valor and Noble. They are Gods good and perfect gifts to our family. God is faithful to have given me my hearts' desire...children, a husband, family.  Jesus. You are faithful and true. Heres to living in the Land of the Princes! :-)

Your heart is as gorgeous as your smile!

Dearest Kara... Im writing you this letter to honor you. I wish I could kiss your cheek and see your radiant smile as I write these words to you. Someday I will. Maybe God will show you this letter. We dont really know what goes on in Heaven in full detail until we get there. I do know several things. You are not in pain and you never will be. You will never shed another tear. You are having a blast. You have seen Jesus face to face and have felt more love in that one moment than you have felt in all your life. I know that you are exploring Heaven and you are on a great adventure there. I know you were greeted by other family members and friends that went ahead of you. I know that you are singing, dancing and rejoicing. You are seeing and hearing real, live, breathing angels sing "worthy is the lamb". You have never been so fascinated! You are seeing people from the Bible that most of us have only read about. I wonder if you have met King David yet? Or Mary? or Ruth? Or maybe Mawmaw has taken you to visit Queen Esther or Jesus is giving you a grand tour even right now? I'm sure it takes all of eternity to discover every supernatural, fascinating detail of Heaven. I know you are worshipping God and He is adoring you. You are in perfect peace. You are full of the knowledge of God, lacking nothing now. You are complete, and completely yourself. You have become perfect just as He is perfect. You are in awe of His glory and He is in awe of you. You are surrounded by His pure beauty and the gorgeousness of heaven. (Is gorgeousness a word?):-) Im sure angels have gathered to hear you sing to Jesus and they have joined in with their heavenly harmonies. I see in my heart that you are full of giggles, awe and wonder and have perfect,unspeakable joy. I cant help but to think that you have met and are playing with tjs' and my little angels, "Jewel and "Liv" that mawmaw is taking care of until we get there. This makes me happy that Aunt Kara is loving on them. I just know, in my heart, that Mammaw and other family members had the priveledge, along with Jesus, to show you your new breathtakingly, awe inspiring, "blow you mind" custom made mansion filled with all your hearts' desires. I bet it sits on the most lovely hill your eyes have ever seen, overlooking the Land of Glory. I cant imagine your view!!!! I bet its next door to mammaw and yall share a Rose garden with every color rose imaginable...even colors that earth has never seen. I bet when you walk oustide its aroma makes you and Mawmaw giggle. I know I may be crazy to say the following, but I also would like to think that Jesus surprised you when you looked in your back yard and there was a pool! None like you have ever dared to dream about! Maybe it's pure crystal water rests on rich, smooth saphire and turquoise. Perhaps its trimmed in thousands of polished, smooth diamonds of perfect clarity! Yes, Kara...its full of bling bling,just like all of Heaven,and just the way you like it. :-) Perhaps there is a rushing waterfall that pours into it, with pink butterflies that have rubies, diamonds and tanzonite gems in thier wings flying through it. Heaven is so much more than we can imagine!!!!!!! I know you are celebrating the rewards you have earned during your life. I know you are thrilled, honored, thankful, and in awe of the crowns you earned. I'm sure there are endless treasures that King Jesus has for you. Jesus tells each of us to store our treasures in Heaven, not on earth, where moth can not destroy it,man can not steal it, and we will never loose it. You have done this Kara! You surely have tons of rewards, crowns and priceless treasures to partake of that are yours and no one and nothing can take them away from you. They are yours to enjoy for an eternity! I know you are rejoicing in the rewards and crowns that Mawmaw earned as well with other family and friends that are with you in Paradise. The truth is...I dont know everything you are doing in heaven except that you have never been so happy, and have never experienced so much love, peace and joy. You have come into the fullness of who YOU are, because now you are like Jesus lacking nothing. You have seen the fullness God. You have touched Him with your own hands. He has kissed your cheek and you have felt the warmth his lips. I, along with most people, dont understand death and we dont understand heaven because we have not been there. I know that the Bible says "precious in the sight of God is the death of a faithful one" I know I dont view death and life the way Jesus does. His ways are much higher than mine. So in times when I dont understand and this is one of them...I have to choose to trust God. You are His child and He is your Father and he has and will continue to care for you. I know that there are many promises you have waited for your whole life that you have now inheritaed. One promise you have is eternal life. You have this promise because you have Jesus in your heart and I pray that all your family knows Jesus so that they can share eternal life with you and our Savior. All these things are diffucilt to write becuase I dont understand so many things. I have not seen Gods face as you have. I have not heard his audible voice call my name and I have not felt His strong arm embrace me. I have not seen the gloroius city where there is no more pain and no more tears. I do know, even though I dont understand it, that if myself or anyone else cuaght just a glimps of what you have seen we would all beg to go there now. Kara you are loved, and you will be missed more than words could ever say. You are the nicect, most caring, most giving, loving, generous, beautiful person I have ever met. You have changed my life in the little time that I knew you. All your kind deeds that we all could write a novel about have been noticed and are now being rewarded by God Himself. You always lit up the room you were in and I know Heaven just got a little brighter with your smile. I wont be surpised one bit, if when I get to Heaven, Jesus has your smile...or rather you have His. :-) Your family will miss you very much. It will be hard. Your family will grieve in a way that they didnt know was possible. However God has promised your family many things too. He has promised to never leave them. He has promised to comfort them. He has promised to bring them peace. He has promised to never forsake them, to always love them and take care of them. He has promised to be a ever present help in time of trouble. He has promised to be a shield unto them and cover them with grace, strength and love. He has promised to carry them forever as a shepherd carries his sheep into saftey. He has promised to be a good shepherd and a good Father. He has promised to be their provider, thier healer, thier friend. Jesus has promised that He will stick closer than a brother and that your family can cast all thier cares on Him for He cares for them. God says that mourning last for a night but joy comes in the morning. God promises to restore joy and peace and rest to your family. Things wont be the same but we have Gods promise that He is the same today, yesterday and forever. Kara, your legacy still lives on through your husband, your children, your parents, your sisters, your inlaws, your nephews, your nieces, your entire family and friends. The seeds you planted so well, so faithfully, so tenderly and so lovingly still grow in the hearts that you planted them in. God is faithful to see that those seeds will grow into full bloom and produce fruit in and out of season. Heres to..not the end of your destiny...but the beginning. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. In His presnce is fullness of joy and pleasures forever more. No eye has seen and no ear has heard the wonderful things He has in store for you, Kara, because you love him. I will see you again and when I do, I might give you a hug that lasts 100 years! :-) Afterall, whats a 100 years when we will have eternity together! Love you always and forever, Tara

My lil' princes will outgrow this land someday.....

Being a mother means warming up your same cup of coffee at least 4 times before you actually get to drink it because the kids need you. However ,I have decided that I want Noble to stay 12 weeks and Valor to stay 2 1/2 forever. I really love these ages! Valor remains my comic relief most of the day and Noble's smile, cuddling, and chuckles make my heart come alive. Both boys have absolutely stolen my heart. Valor has had a fun day. He told me Bob the Builder was here and I looked out the window and sure enough there was a man who looked like Bob the Builder working on a tree in our backyard. Valor has watched him most of the day. :-) Noble is starting to sleep 9 -10 hours a night and that is heavenly. He is such a joy....such a good, easy, sweet, loving, wonderful baby. Valor is such a good, loving, toddler and I adore him. I thank Jesus for Nobe and Valor. I'm just now truly getting the hang of two children. I'm finally taking risks by attending more than one activity a day. Not everyday. We actually rarely go anywhere except to Church and mammys. :-) I'v taken them to Walmart once and quickly realized by the time you get both kids in a cart...there is no more room for groceries! I had to rethink my trip and only get about 10 little things when in fact I needed about 100 things! :-) Everyday is a challenge to have patience, energy, get priorities straight, be a good mother and good wife, do my chores, play with children, spend time with God, be creative and raise my little disciples that God has given me. I am just now learning to take better care of myself and its not selfish for doing so! I have also started a new Mary Kay business....so life is hetic but fun right now (most days). Its a challenge but having a family is my dream come true. Staying home with my kiddos is huge dream God fullfilled for me. There is no place Id rather be than here with my kids and here in His love. Valor wakes up every morning and asks for his Daw (this is what he calls TJ) and then will say Daw is at work, working hard. He says he works hard for toys. :-) I love Valor and Noble and Tj. I love this land where my princes live. I get sad to think that someday my lil' boys will outgrow this land of princes. I cant imagine my life with out bubbles on the front porch, sidewalk chalk everywhere,a living room in which I dont trip over toys, a dining room that has exploded into a toy room, no more mickey mouse cartoons, cribs, little feet running down the hall to jump in bed with me, and no more "mama i need this or mama i need that". They will outgrow the silly songs I make up and the sword and water gun fights will eventually end. They will not always light up when i walk in the room,and they wont always run with all their guts to come give me a hug and kiss.The gobbling of thier cheeks will surely take its toll on them and they will ask me to stop doing that. I look in the back yard and see a swing, a little pool, and dump trucks, sticks, balls and slide. I cant stand the thought of my lil' boys outgrowing those things. They have brought me joy beyond my wildest imagination. However I'm reminded of all the things they will do for God and humanity and I almost cant wait to see that either! I watch our pastors enjoy their sons being used in their calling and giftings and it makes me long for the day when TJ and I can sit on the front row and smile,laugh, and praise God because our lil' princes are now doing big things for God. They may outgrow this land of princes but they will never exhaust or outgrow all the wonderful dreams and plans that God has for them. But until then....I'm going to enjoy my little boys that God has given me. Some days I want to cry because I'm tired and lack energy. Some days I want to pull out my hair. Some days my attitudde just stinks and the whole family pays for it. I regret those days. Some days I want to run away just to have some quiet time to think..to actually finish a thought without any interruptions. But most days, I'm living my dreams. I'm happy to be just where I am. In the middle of beautiful noise, snotty noses, sweet little giggles, precious toddler conversations and baby coos, wild chaos, peace, joy, tears, love, frustration, tiredness, zeal, repetition, security, happiness..all of which are a part of my sometimes fabulous and sometimes mundane life. My family and I are the hands of God and there is no better place to be!!!! Thank you God for my family that you have given to me. It is my dream come true. Give me the joy, energy, peace, sanity, creativity, strength and love to raise my little disciples into great men of God and to love my husband well. Thank you for my princes....may I take excellent care of them while they are in this land of mine.

Lifting my burdens .m4v